Cardiff family court heard the little girl still drinks milk from a baby bottle, wears pull-up nappies, and is often awake through the night in a room with no lightbulb in what the judge described as a 'bleak picture'

A "neglectful" mother broke down in tears as she lost custody of her daughter. The six-year-old had a "bleak" existence of sleeping deep into afternoons, missing school, and being fed from a baby bottle, Cardiff's family court heard.

The mum sobbed as Deputy District Judge Rhys Evans approved Cardiff Council's plan to put the youngster into long-term foster care. Although the mum had fought the order she also threatened not to visit her daughter in care. The judge said this would be "catastrophic" for the child and pleaded with the mum to reconsider.

The court heard the little girl – who has autism and global developmental delay – wears pull-up nappies and has serious dental problems. She was described as "glued" to her phone and "very pale and slim". Last year she was assessed as functioning at the level of a two-and-a-half-year-old. Judge Evans said she was "not eating any real range of foods" and the court heard there were times when she consumed only rusks and milk.

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The mum experienced a "challenging" childhood which led to substance misuse and she has been in "violent relationship after violent relationship", the judge said in his summary of the case. He added there was no evidence "those issues have been addressed" although the court heard the mum is currently single. She does not have close relationships with family members apart from her grandfather.

When a social worker visited the home the youngster and her mum would sometimes be asleep in bed as late as 4.15pm. Her school attendance was just over 50% and around half the absences were due to late arrival. The social worker told how the little girl was "constantly" on her phone.

Judge Evans said the child had been observed to be "dirty and smelly" while she only recently saw a dentist for the first time despite five cavities which have been causing her pain. "Indeed I am left with a child who has missed huge amounts of school in the last three months, apparently due to ill health," he added. "However she has only been taken to the doctors on around three occasions and the dentist once for an abscess."

The mum said her daughter had no sleep routine and would "scream and make herself sick" when she tried to get her into school uniform. But Judge Evans found the mum had "consistently" refused agencies' offers of support and advice. He said it was "bleak" that the young girl did not have a single friend at school despite being able to interact in a "warm and loving way" as she does with her mother. She also has the capacity to do activities like crafts, the court heard.

Initially the mum – who had admitted trying cocaine, cannabis, and amphetamine in the past – had agreed to court-ordered drug and alcohol testing but she then argued it was not necessary. She gave excuses such as needle phobia and not wanting hair removed for testing but the judge said she had "lied". He added: "I do not buy the mother’s explanations – not for a moment."

Judge Evans said it was "alarming" that the mum had described her daughter as "easy" to parent. He pointed out the child was "incontinent, awake through the night, eating a very limited diet, almost non-verbal, and apparently unwilling to go to school". The judge added that the mum "can understand that [the child] needs to be out of pull-ups to move her toileting on and she knows that [she] should not have a baby bottle but continues to provide both".

The mum questioned the absence records of the school and claimed she had "done her best". She said it was "not her fault" her daughter had autism and denied keeping her "cooped up". But the judge observed that the mum had not made any inquiries about autistic groups or services in Cardiff.

Susan Jenkins, representing the council, said the mum's parenting style was one of "apathy" and "laziness". But the mum's barrister Angela Ricciardi, told the court there was a "close bond" between mum and daughter. She said that social workers had seen no evidence of drug use and that the mum had shown a "commitment to go it alone" in raising her daughter.

Judge Evans said there were "many positive things" about the mother-daughter relationship. The mum's "love and commitment" were found to be "entirely sincere". But he added: "I am afraid that I just did not believe her around issues of schooling, accessing healthcare intervention, taking on board advice, and her efforts around sleep and routine."

The judge also criticised the little girl's father who has been absent for most of her life. Last year he stated his desire to care for the child and he "impressed" a social worker. But his engagement with social services then "fell off a cliff" and he ended up causing a "pointless" delay to the youngster's care being decided. "What he has done is effectively abandon [his daughter] a second time," said Judge Evans.

He added that foster care would "in a number of ways be disastrous" for the child but would offer long-term stability in a way her "neglectful" mum could not. "There is no guarantee that the current foster carer will not quit if the going gets tough or her circumstances change," he said. "However that carer is experienced in meeting the needs of children with similar additional needs."

He added: "[The girl] cuts quite a sad picture as being awake throughout the night in a room with no lightbulb, not going to school regularly, missing out on nice Christmas events, not having friends, and not doing very much outside of her small bubble with the mother." He described the mum's parenting as "dominated by apathy and passivity".

Judge Evans called on the mum to take up the option of visiting her daughter. "It is likely that [the child] will be desperately upset by the change of care arrangements and to have her mother disappear completely is likely to be entirely catastrophic to her," he said. "So I implore the mother, in the strongest of terms, do not give up on this relationship."

The mum was in tears as the judge told her: "I really think your decision about contact is wrong. I can see you shaking your head at me... but you have to view this through [your daughter's] perspective." She replied "I know" but then when the judge mentioned she could get updates on the child's progress she said: "No."

Judge Evans told her: "What I must impress upon you is that you don't do anything silly now or ask anyone to do anything silly. I don't think you will."

WalesOnline attended this hearing under a new transparency pilot that allows media to report on family court cases. If you are aware of an upcoming Cardiff family court case that you believe we should cover you can let us know at conor.gogarty@walesonline.co.uk.

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